It’s been a long time. Again, too long. I suck at this writing shit. At least the keeping up with a blog shit. Here is what I am thinking…
GRIEF. It sucks ass. I said it then and I say it now. All is going okay, just cooking dinner or cleaning the house or maybe even actually laughing and then BOOM!! Enter a thought about him and I am instantly in tears, not knowing where to turn, who to tell. Benjamin has told me a couple of times that he has seen him here, always standing by the fridge. I walked in to the boys room one day a couple of weeks ago and it smelled like him. The whole room. Like I had a GLADE plug in with a scented “Dad fresh out of shower with a splash of cologne” plugged in to it. It was crazy. Benjamin said that Grandpa told him that he was here to protect us presumably due to bad things happening around here lately. I agreed and said “probably so”. He also said that he saw Sahara downstairs barking at people and a squirrel. Again, presumably to protect us since that is what she did in life. I can only be grateful for both because I am scared lately.
THE PARANORMAL. There is a nuthouse of activity in this apartment. It seemed to ease for a few days but is kicking back up again. WTF? Why do we attract these things?
POOR CHOICES. Friends or whatever else. I am over it and attempting to reach out to those that I know are true. I need the wagons to circle more than ever.