“DAMNIT” (I didn’t know what else to call this post)


It’s been a long time. Again, too long. I suck at this writing shit. At least the keeping up with a blog shit. Here is what I am thinking…

GRIEF. It sucks ass. I said it then and I say it now. All is going okay, just cooking dinner or cleaning the house or maybe even actually laughing and then BOOM!! Enter a thought about him and I am instantly in tears, not knowing where to turn, who to tell. Benjamin has told me a couple of times that he has seen him here, always standing by the fridge. I walked in to the boys room one day a couple of weeks ago and it smelled like him. The whole room. Like I had a GLADE plug in with a scented “Dad fresh out of shower with a splash of cologne” plugged in to it. It was crazy. Benjamin said that Grandpa told him that he was here to protect us presumably due to bad things happening around here lately. I agreed and said “probably so”. He also said that he saw Sahara downstairs barking at people and a squirrel. Again, presumably to protect us since that is what she did in life. I can only be grateful for both because I am scared lately.

THE PARANORMAL. There is a nuthouse of activity in this apartment. It seemed to ease for a few days but is kicking back up again. WTF? Why do we attract these things?

POOR CHOICES. Friends or whatever else. I am over it and attempting to reach out to those that I know are true. I need the wagons to circle more than ever.



About angrypumpkinoutofcontrol

Who am I? You know, oddly enough I don’t know what to say. I am a single (again) mom in So Cal. I am trying to get myself and my 3 boys through life. I am a cynical romantic. I am opinionated and generally not afraid to share said opinions. I am a daughter, probably not always the greatest but it’s my 1st time being a daughter and I’m still learning. I am a friend, this I am generally better at aside from the occasional slip from grace. I am funny (I hear), intelligent (it’s why my BFF chose me) and a neat freak with a streak of OCD. I am told that I scare men and little kids. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up except happy, at peace, stable. I have many good people in my life and many people that have walked out. Focus on what you have. I have no idea the things I should write here. What do you people want from me?

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