The last year has been crazy in a not fun way. Heavy and thick with emotion mixed with small doses of regret. Feeling blindsided with a constant barrage of crap that sometimes made the small victories less shiny. I feel, I dont know, I just feel. I just wish, thats all, just wish. I miss him as do the boys. Mom, if you’re stalking somewhat, know that we love you ♡ Nothing new, just a replay for my own satisfaction.
I woke up the morning of May 17 and had the immediate thought of, “Please don’t die today. It is Z-Fred’s birthday and I don’t know if he could live his life knowing that you left today.” I wasn’t thinking about myself dying. I was thinking about his grandpa. There wasn’t any specific reason other than the day to day knowledge that it was nearing. His time to leave us, that had been creeping in for years, was starting to jog towards us and trust me when I say that apparently death owns pretty good running shoes. I am happy to say that he didn’t leave us that day and instead he spent the day with Z-Fred and they went to my nephews graduation from college. I know it was a proud moment for him and am glad he spent at least part of it with my son. The day…
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Angry Pumpkin Out Of Control 